I am (or will be) an information ninja. Proper Villainy Post #1

"Archivists receive no training in applying physical force against suspected thieves as part of their graduate work, and physical force applied by an untrained staff member could result in serious injury to the patron or the staff member. If the repository wants its employees to use physical force to stop suspected thieves fromleaving the archives, the repository should provide the appropriate training." 


- From "Preventing Patron Theft in the Archives: Legal Perspectives and Problems" by Vincent A. Totka, Jr. in Volume 56, Number 4 / Fall 1993 of American Archivist 

I wonder if I can get someplace I work for in the future to hook me up with some sort of martial arts/self-defense lessons. It would be pretty sweet to lay some hurt on jackasses who try to steal documents or artifacts. Granted, we're usually supposed to be polite and accommodating, but steal or damage our items and your life is forfeit (at least as far as I'm concerned).


In other news, since I probably won't get around to it and my sort of dark foray into vigilantism is a bit relevant, I may as well mention this now that it's Sunday and I'm clearly not bothering to even attempt getting any work done right now (I'm an atheist, but I do agree that it's good to have one day in the week set aside to avoid work whether God said so or not).


I've been trying to pick up on supervillain habits, particularly mundane ones, and somehow apply becoming a Proper Villain down to the dullest of deeds to the information science world.


The first one I've come up with is:


Villains like Frozen Yogurt


Ok, I've only come up with two examples so far.


1. Dr. Horrible







Look at this guy. Granted, he seemed more like a good guy than the "superhero" Captain Hammer, but he knew that the way to the love interest's heart is through probiotic frozen treats with fruit stirred in. Ok, so things didn't work out so well with Penny, but they darn well could have. That's not the point. He was a good and Proper Villain: refusing a fight challenge since kids played at the park where the challenge was to be met and refusing to kill some kid in Iowa just because he's going to grow up to become president. Even evil has standards.


If you haven't already done so (sheesh, where have you been?), please watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.


2. Sylar (maybe)





Ok, this might actually be ice cream, but notice he's wearing a wool coat in New York (or maybe Vancouver because everyone and their mom films in Vancouver) so he's probably eating ice cream/frozen yogurt in the winter. So what conclusions can we draw here? Sylar simply does not give a fuck. "Isn't it too cold out for ice cream/frozen yogurt?" someone may ask. Then there would be a flipping of the bird with a simultaneous cranial slicing. This is also the same guy who murdered a chick's twin brother then had sex with her almost immediately afterward.


We also know that Sylar likes cake, but that's a different story, especially since I'm more or less pretending that the show stopped after first season (although I do acknowledge one of my above-listed examples draws from a second season storyline).


As for me, I guess I'm a villain in training. I had a bit of frozen coconut flavored yogurt with mochi stirred in. This was in February. I remember wearing one mitten to hold the cup and having one hand bare to wield the spoon better as I walked to my meeting. No rest for the wicked, right? Sharks have to stay moving to survive, etc. I am a fan of eating while moving. This is why I find portable foods like burritos ideal. I even managed to eat a bowl of split pea soup and a plastic clamshell container of pad thai from a food cart all while walking from point A (one damn thing) to point B (after another).


What was the point of all this rambling madness? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure that being a proper villain involves a certain minimum amount of crazy. I've got a surplus of it, so I guess I'm on my way then.


To reiterate my findings thus far, Proper Villains/Archivists:

1. Like frozen yogurt.
2. Have standards/will not harm children.
3. Are not overly-conscious of the opinions of others (polite)./Just don't give a fuck (vulgar).
4. Don't have time to sit down and eat, but still like to eat something healthy while treating themselves.
5. Film in Vancouver.

If anyone has any further examples of frozen yogurt-related villainy, please let me know. Also, send any other examples of mundane Proper Villainy to me.

It is (more or less) complete...

Remember how back in June I was working on a script for ScriptFrenzy? I technically "won," by passing the 20,000 word mark. Yet I wasn't quite satisfied. What can I say? I'm a complete masochist.

Anyhoo, I finally completed "The Night Nurse," or got all of the important plot points I wanted in there at least. Hell, scripts get torn all to hell if they ever get made anyway. I shouldn't expect anyone to treat this one any differently. Then again, I highly doubt anyone would ever want to make this awful, yet epic, script into a movie.

Naturally, uploading to google docs ultimately screwed up some of my original formatting, but of course I'm too damn lazy to really fix any of it. It ain't pretty, but it's as close as done as it's going to be for awhile.

If anyone feels so inclined, here it is: "The Night Nurse: Working Title"

It ain't quite over yet...

So yeah, I made it to a 20,000 word screenplay in 30 days (actually a bit less). Unfortunately, it isn't quite finished yet. So, I'll see if I can use the time I have left to actually complete it (or at least have the plot hashed out on paper/hard drive). Compared to NaNoWriMo where I was scrambling to fulfill the proper word count, ScriptFrenzy! was one where I tried to cram too much in too little space. Admittedly though, I did occasionally slip into my fiction mode of writing where there is quite a lot of filler describing people, places and things as opposed to providing any advancement for the plot.

Nonetheless, there is a whole lot of plot to be had. Hypothetically, it could be two movies, but I think form and structure-wise, it would be a lot better as just one. I promise I'll post it like I did for NaNoWriMo...and I promise that it is a much more fun read than "312 East Main Street." I mean there are assassins, schoolgirls (if I get to the bit about the international assassin training school), torture scenes of people who really deserve it, mother/daughter dramatic turmoil about the expectations one has about the way the other leads her life, explosions, and at least one sex scene/montage.