I am (or will be) an information ninja. Proper Villainy Post #1

"Archivists receive no training in applying physical force against suspected thieves as part of their graduate work, and physical force applied by an untrained staff member could result in serious injury to the patron or the staff member. If the repository wants its employees to use physical force to stop suspected thieves fromleaving the archives, the repository should provide the appropriate training." 


- From "Preventing Patron Theft in the Archives: Legal Perspectives and Problems" by Vincent A. Totka, Jr. in Volume 56, Number 4 / Fall 1993 of American Archivist 

I wonder if I can get someplace I work for in the future to hook me up with some sort of martial arts/self-defense lessons. It would be pretty sweet to lay some hurt on jackasses who try to steal documents or artifacts. Granted, we're usually supposed to be polite and accommodating, but steal or damage our items and your life is forfeit (at least as far as I'm concerned).


In other news, since I probably won't get around to it and my sort of dark foray into vigilantism is a bit relevant, I may as well mention this now that it's Sunday and I'm clearly not bothering to even attempt getting any work done right now (I'm an atheist, but I do agree that it's good to have one day in the week set aside to avoid work whether God said so or not).


I've been trying to pick up on supervillain habits, particularly mundane ones, and somehow apply becoming a Proper Villain down to the dullest of deeds to the information science world.


The first one I've come up with is:


Villains like Frozen Yogurt


Ok, I've only come up with two examples so far.


1. Dr. Horrible







Look at this guy. Granted, he seemed more like a good guy than the "superhero" Captain Hammer, but he knew that the way to the love interest's heart is through probiotic frozen treats with fruit stirred in. Ok, so things didn't work out so well with Penny, but they darn well could have. That's not the point. He was a good and Proper Villain: refusing a fight challenge since kids played at the park where the challenge was to be met and refusing to kill some kid in Iowa just because he's going to grow up to become president. Even evil has standards.


If you haven't already done so (sheesh, where have you been?), please watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.


2. Sylar (maybe)





Ok, this might actually be ice cream, but notice he's wearing a wool coat in New York (or maybe Vancouver because everyone and their mom films in Vancouver) so he's probably eating ice cream/frozen yogurt in the winter. So what conclusions can we draw here? Sylar simply does not give a fuck. "Isn't it too cold out for ice cream/frozen yogurt?" someone may ask. Then there would be a flipping of the bird with a simultaneous cranial slicing. This is also the same guy who murdered a chick's twin brother then had sex with her almost immediately afterward.


We also know that Sylar likes cake, but that's a different story, especially since I'm more or less pretending that the show stopped after first season (although I do acknowledge one of my above-listed examples draws from a second season storyline).


As for me, I guess I'm a villain in training. I had a bit of frozen coconut flavored yogurt with mochi stirred in. This was in February. I remember wearing one mitten to hold the cup and having one hand bare to wield the spoon better as I walked to my meeting. No rest for the wicked, right? Sharks have to stay moving to survive, etc. I am a fan of eating while moving. This is why I find portable foods like burritos ideal. I even managed to eat a bowl of split pea soup and a plastic clamshell container of pad thai from a food cart all while walking from point A (one damn thing) to point B (after another).


What was the point of all this rambling madness? I'm not sure, but I'm pretty sure that being a proper villain involves a certain minimum amount of crazy. I've got a surplus of it, so I guess I'm on my way then.


To reiterate my findings thus far, Proper Villains/Archivists:

1. Like frozen yogurt.
2. Have standards/will not harm children.
3. Are not overly-conscious of the opinions of others (polite)./Just don't give a fuck (vulgar).
4. Don't have time to sit down and eat, but still like to eat something healthy while treating themselves.
5. Film in Vancouver.

If anyone has any further examples of frozen yogurt-related villainy, please let me know. Also, send any other examples of mundane Proper Villainy to me.

More Archivey Goodness

Here is an epic example of combining original documents with Web 2.0 technology.

The blog mentioned is more or less "real time" posts commemorating the final journal of an explorer. They also have a Twitter account. On the corresponding date in 2009, the archive will post an entry from the last journal of Robert Falcon Scott. I don't know anything about him, but the middle name "Falcon" is probably reason enough to go exploring the South Pole. Still, major spoiler alert if anyone wanted to read the blog in "real time" considering they give the ending away in the blog description. It's not like the "real time" Dracula blogs that everyone and their mom made once Dracula entered the public domain where we all know what happens in the end.

I had gotten my hopes up when I read "Cambridge" on the profile, but I don't think they meant this Cambridge, but rather quite clearly, this Cambridge. Though admittedly, the latter most likely has more prestige and a bigger archival collection than the former.

Your FDA Recommended Daily Allowance of Iron(y)

Here's a gem from a reading I had from my Intro to Archives class:

"It is noteworthy that during debate in the House of Representatives, one of
Representative Moss’s colleagues, a young congressman from Illinois, spoke in
favor of the bill, saying it

will make it considerably more difficult for secrecy-minded bureaucrats to
decide arbitrarily that people should be denied access to information on the
conduct of Government or on how an individual Government official is handling
his job. . . . [P]ublic records, which are evidence of official government
action, are public property, and there . . . should be a positive obligation to
disclose this information upon request.

The name of that young congressman from Illinois was Donald Rumsfeld."

Timothy L. Ericson, "Building Our Own 'Iron Curtain': The Emergence of Secrecy in American Government," American Archivist, 68 (Spring/Summer 2005): 43.

This is what I think of as a case of historical irony, where perhaps whatever was said was not originally intended with irony (in the sarcastic sense), but has proven to be ironic over time and the course of further speech and action on the part of the speaker.

You can't take it with you... or can you?

I left my beloved Portland behind about a week ago for Boston. Temporarily? I hope so.

In packing to leave, I had to get rid of a bunch of things. I suppose this was appropriate preliminary training in becoming an archivist, trying to figure out what was worth keeping, what was not.

Some minor physical object things I couldn't take with me:

• Futon
• Toaster Oven/Other Gadgets
• Space Heater
• Pots and pans

Some objects I managed:

• my massive collection of books (thank you USPS Media Mail)
• more clothes than I should have taken
• my computer (which was delayed. screw you, UPS Ground)
• my bicycle (in theory as it is still in transit via Amtrak)

Other important things of varying levels of tangibility that I couldn't take with me:

• waking up next to Will, the smell of his hair, etc.
• my morning and afternoon bike rides on Water Street and the Esplanade
• lunch kvetch-fests with my co-workers
• the Food Carts (whether on 12th and Hawthorne or Downtown) that sustained me when I had $6 in my pocket and was too lazy to cook
• karaoke nights with my Portland friends and other crazy debauched activities taking place late at night
• soy milk automatically available in carafes at almost all coffee shops
• no sales tax
• my various "territories"

More on "territories:"

When I first came to Portland, I mostly stuck around the Hawthorne area. After living there awhile and getting a bicycle and friends all over town, I explored much of the close-in area. I liked playing a game on the map sort of like a military campaign. If I had ever driven, biked or walked there, I claimed it as a territory. If I frequented the area enough, I referred to it as a patrol.

Territories:

• The random places in NoPo where I went to various social gatherings (either escorted by Will or with Blue, Kev and everyone)
• Sandy Blvd to the airport (driving only), to 74th (or wherever the Roseway Theater is)
• Movie Theaters: Bagdad, Laurelhurst, Roseway, Hollywood, Living Room, Clinton Street, Cinemagic, various Regal Cinema locations
• Excalibur Comics to pick up the latest issue of Chew
• The Springwater Corridor
• Oaks Park
• Interstate bike lane all the way to the Kaiser Permanente facility on the bigass scary hill (*huffpuff*, *huffpuff* going up followed by "OMGIhopemybrakesstillwork!" going down).
• Alberta from 10th-ish to 30th for First Thursday
  

Patrols:

• SE Hawthorne from the bridge down to Mt. Tabor
• SE Belmont from 12th to 39th
• Anywhere between the two streets listed above as well as the streets surrounding the area.
  
• SE Stark from 12th to 39th (including Laurelhurst Park)
  
• The bike ride from my apartment to the NE where I would meet up with Blue, including Lloyd Center and 7th street.
• The bike ride on the way to work from 12th and Stark down Water Street (or Grand and then Burnside if I got up late) and around the Eastbank Esplanade to Steel Bridge
• The bike ride to Kev's place all the way the hell out in Woodstock.
  
• The patches of Downtown/SW Will and I wandered down, mostly the West Hills and Goose Hollow leading to W Burnside and then to NW 23rd.
• Old Town (Ground Kontrol, Voodoo Donut)
• Pearl District
• Powell's Bookstore (City of Books on 10th and the Hawthorne store)

Sadly, I think I may be forgetting some areas in the lists of territories and patrols. For example, I think I might be embarrassed by the bar list I'd make: too long for my parents, resulting in shame and too short for my friends who kept yelling at me to get out more often.

I like to think that I make the cities in which I live mine in a way, based on how I claim them in memory, hold stories that could only take place in these spaces.

I aim to do the same thing in Boston.

So far, I have claimed the following as territory:

Not sure if these count since I just took the T and didn't walk/bike this way:

• Orange Line from Sullivan Square to Haymarket
• Green Line from North Station to Museum of Fine Arts

On foot:

• My patch of East Somerville from Everett Avenue to Broadway down to Sullivan Square station. There are a lot of Brazilian/Mexican places here so I don't think I'm likely to starve soon.
• The 4 block walk to the Stop and Shop
• Washington Street past Union Square
• Cambridge Avenue in Cambridge from Harvard to the Lechmere Green Line station.
• Boylston to Chinatown and the edge of the Financial District (yay for Dim Sum and Asian Food stores where I can get a lot of rice noodles for a dollar and hair salons that will actually know what to do with my hair)
• Time traveling through Commonwealth Avenue by reading the historical statues along the greenway.
• Being a consumer whore on Newbury (not really, I just picked up a new set of headphones and an AC charger for my iPod). I have yet to go to the comic book shop though, but I think the new Chew is out so I ought to.
• a bit of Massachusetts Avenue near Berklee school of music. Found a pretty awesome army surplus-esque store where I got my awesome "tactical bag" (like this one, but in black)
  
• and of course, the Fenway area, where my school is. The Fens area is pretty too and has a bunch of garden areas, which I can't get into as they are sort of privately owned as part of a garden-share.
  

Once I get my bike (aka the Mark II... Mark's an awfully funny name for a girl) back, the claiming of territories may become easier.

Anyway, I hope this update is enough to tie you guys (all 4 of you) over for the next few months while I stress over class, papers, projects and internships (part time job=maybe at this point). I also realize that I more or less gave out information that would be useful for tracking me down and stalking me. Ew.